(this post was first published in SOMA, the Peace Corps Rwanda magazine)
I will never understand when to go places in Rwanda.
I get invited to ceremonies all the time: wedding ceremonies, baby naming ceremonies, anniversaries, celebrations, memorials. I consider myself lucky if the invitation includes a start-time.
I shouldn’t.
It never means a thing.
I’ve tried everything. Showing up early. Arriving late. One hour. Three hours. I think, this will be the day I get it right!
Wrong.
I ask friends to give me a call or a text or a beep. Anything to let me know when they’ll be arriving so I can follow suit. Sometimes it helps. Other times I’m reminded that when a Rwandan says, “Ndajye,” (I’m coming), it can still take them an hour to arrive.
I was sitting with two friends recently and I asked them, “How do you always know when to arrive?”
They looked at me strangely. What an odd question, their looks seemed to say.
“No, seriously!” I exclaimed, “That ceremony at school this week,
it started three hours late. AFTER the stated end time! I arrived one hour late, thinking I was finally the smart one, only to sit and wait, alone, in the hot salle while decorations were being put up. But you all arrived right on time. How’d you know?”
They both tilted their heads a bit, pondering this weird american girl and her strange confusion.
“It’s common sense,” one said.
Common Sense.
Registering the complete decisiveness in his voice, it hit me: Common sense is cultural.
It’s common sense to all Rwandans when you should arrive. There are secret rules embedded in the culture, taught to you in unspoken social cues from birth. Weddings start two hours late, memorials one. But if a VIP is coming you better be prepared. They may show up right on time, angry if you’re late, or they may be several hours past due and expect you to be ready when they are.
It’s common sense.
“It’s common sense to you,” I said. “It’s common confusion to me.”
But at least now I know. I’ve gained a lot of common sense in my life, but all based on the wrong culture for where I currently live. I’ll never arrive at the right time in Rwanda.
Some things just aren’t common around the globe.
Detour Scenery 
I would run a string from the event to where I was sitting in the shade with a book. Tge string would have bells on it and when it was triggered at least 10 times, then I would go.
Brilliant plan Gaby! I’ll get right on that!
on second thought….how do I know if its people and not cows, chickens, and goats that ring my bell?
On Wed, Sep 17, 2014 at 6:05 PM, Detour Scenery wrote:
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I am brilliant. Goats bleet. Easy to discern. Children stare so a. Thanks o easy to discern plus, you can just ask a child if the adults are coming. It will work cause the adults will have a different jingle. Assuming they don’t trip of course.
As for ringing your bell. I will be singing that song all day now
LOL 😀
Um…. I CAN spell and articulate a sentence. That was the third time I typed that. WordPress is not my friend today.
You do not get to teach English in Rwanda. The best idea you have is to pay a small child to come tell me when things start. They will willingly wait for hours on my behalf!
On Thu, Sep 18, 2014 at 5:16 PM, Detour Scenery wrote:
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